Happy Blitz Day

Bermuda Police in the Christmas spiritAh, today must be that special day. The Annual December Police Blitz Day and Fundraiser. You see, every December the Bermuda Police have their big pre-Christmas fund raiser in which residents of the country can donate funds to their organisation in order to meet the predetermined quota of fines allocated.

Now don't be alarmed, guys. Funds are only derived from speeding in arbitrary locations, namely straight roads and when traffic isn't a big problem.

Funds will not be derived if you have illegal tint, unfastened seatbelts, non-standard-coloured front or rear lights, faulty indicators, emit smoky exhaust, carry uncovered loads of sand or gravel, zoom over a pedestrian crossing, honk your horn needlessly, ride in 'third lanes', bob and weave around corners forcing other vehicles to take evasive action, throw litter out of your car, yak on your cellphone, send text messages from your cellphone, do wheelies, carry kids in front of you on your motorcycle, blare loud music from your car or bike or park on a yellow line.

Although you may be asked to donate if you run a stop sign, it's not particularly likely.

Happy Blitz Day, Bermuda!

(PS, there will be a follow up on my experience today in a later post. Stay tuned.)


Anonymous said...

Haha! Spot on! I'm cracking up!

Anonymous said...

LOL. You old cynic, you.