The ads so absurd they're funny

You've seen some of those infomercials and the like for some of the strangest products. While I want to give a nice shout-out to whoever thought a robe/blanket that makes you look like part of a dangerous cult was a brilliant gimmick, I gotta bring this other one up, it's so hilarious.

So this commercial starts up, with the theme of "Candid Confessions: Secrets Women won't share with men" or something like that. A bunch of women, all allegedly between 21 and 26 years old, 'interview' to the camera about issues with guys who aren't equipped with the proverbial anaconda (that's a shoutout, Mitch). It's very blatant. Now, these women are quite attractive from a physical standpoint, but it's so hard to take the commercial seriously because you're thinking, ho, skank, slut, bitchy skank, wannabe actress bitchy skank.

Anyway, the theme is "Size Matters". Big graphic cues up, in case we haven't figured it out. Then we have this apparent 'doctor' come on screen wearing some low top that has a cleavage exposure factor of 9.3, trying to sound like a practical expert. Oh, she's also an author. Surre. And a relationship expert. Riiight. Porn star, definitely.

A bunch of stock photos to illustrate "actual disappointment" and "actual hoplessness" come up, each pic more and more absurd in how phony they are. Then some more blather while the producers are counting on you to just stare at the cleavage. A requisite and not-at-all allegorical video of a rocket launch pops up and then more stock photos, captioned "actual happiness".

While this infomercial is totally ridiculous, it is probably going to be effective. Men's "enhancement" products is big business now, possibly fueled by the "female satisfaction" movement and the apparent fact that women have far greater say in the relationship business than ever before (and men, far less). So, like the whole "women must take pill X and exercise product Y in order to be more attractive, etc." thing, here's the corresponding item for the fellas. Take our product, or beautiful women are going to scorn you forever.